Crossing The Line
by BregoArodShadowfax
Summary: Written for a GKM prompt. Blaine and Kurt meet in college when they share a dorm room together. Both of them are hiding their sexuality, but since neither is getting any action elsewhere, they enter into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Eventually it goes a little too far to be just 'bros helping bros' and the truth has to come out. Klaine.


**Title:** Crossing The Line  
**Author:** AoiTsukikage  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Characters/Pairing:** Klaine  
**Chapter:** 18/18  
**Word Count:** ~20,700  
**Spoilers:** Nothing specific  
**Summary: Written for a GKM prompt. ** Blaine and Kurt meet in college when they share a dorm room together. Both of them are hiding their sexuality, but since neither is getting any action elsewhere, they enter into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Eventually it goes a little too far to be just 'bros helping bros' and the truth has to come out. ****

**Crossing the Line**

**I.**

"You must be Kurt!"

Kurt turns at the rather enthusiastic voice, plastering a smile onto his face and jamming his hands into the pockets of his hoodie (he'll give up fashion for a while, just until he finds out if his new roommate is a homophobic jerk) and studies the man in front of him.

He's…short, Kurt thinks, short and wearing clothes that he hadn't realized anybody under the age of about seventy-five owned, but for some reason the cardigan and slicked-back hair suit him, and Kurt can instantly see that his happy welcome isn't an act.

His eyes are damn near sparkling, wide and open and Kurt spends far too much time trying to decipher the ever-swirling hazel-brown-green-gold of them before he realizes he's being rude and sticks out a hand, adapting a casual posture and trying not to give off any strange vibes.

"Yeah," he mutters, keeping his voice lower-pitched than normal, and the boy grins and pumps his hand heartily.

"I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Guess we're roommates, huh?" he steps back so Kurt can see into the dorm, and it's rather basic and small. The entrance leads into a tiny kitchen/living room, barely enough space to get a table and couch in, and three doors at the back end head toward what Kurt assumes are the bedrooms and bathroom.

Well, it's not luxury, but it'll do, he supposes.

Anything to get out of Lima and into New York, and after NYADA had decided to accept Rachel and not him, he guesses that NYU isn't a bad second choice, all things considered.

"Guess so," Kurt grumbles, pulling his suitcase into the room behind him. "Which bedroom…"

"Oh, that one," Blaine points and Kurt nods his thanks, slipping into the room and heaving a sigh as he leans against the door. He's glad to see there's a mirror hanging on the back of it, at least it means he can do his morning and night routines without Blaine seeing his countless jars of creams and moisturizers.

Closing his eyes, he sinks onto the bed with a groan, wondering if he's doing the right thing. Yes, he knows New York is more accepting than Lima, but there's a giant difference between going to school with somebody who likes guys and actually living with one. It had taken Finn long enough to warm up to it, after all, and while now he and Rachel and the rest of Kurt's friends are obviously a little disapproving that Kurt's proverbially 'back in the closet', he doesn't feel comfortable being his fabulous self right off the bat.

Maybe one day, if he's really sure he won't get any trouble because of it.

He leans back farther on the bed, trying not to think about the state of the mattress (he'll have to do a thorough cleaning of everything later, when Blaine's not around to judge him) as he sighs and curls up on himself.

He's here, in New York, doing something that he knows he'll love, with a roommate that didn't hate him at first sight.

All things considered, it could be a lot worse.

000

Blaine watches the (admittedly gorgeous) boy head into his bedroom and tries to calm himself down. Kurt seems normal enough, likes to keep to himself if immediately disappearing is any indication, and Blaine just hopes he hasn't come on too strongly because he has a tendency to do that when he gets nervous.

He knows that he's taking a risk even wearing the clothes he's used to wearing at home, but he can't hide every part of himself and all of the guys at Dalton had told him over and over again that he can pass for straight anyway.

So he's taking their word for it and trying to blend in as best he can. He knows that not everywhere is like his old school, and that around here people _should_ be a little more open-minded about sexuality, but he also knows not every place is like Dalton, either, and he'll be the first to admit that he's been…sheltered the last few years.

It doesn't erase the memories of lying broken and battered on the ground, however, and if he has a choice, he'd rather hide who he is than go through all of that again.

His parents will be happy about it, probably, but then he's never been quite sure what he can do to make them like him more.

He heads into his own bedroom and pulls up his class schedule, clicking his tongue as he reads it over and memorizes where he has to go for the next morning. He has no idea what Kurt is majoring in, or if they can help each other out in that department, but it's nice to have somebody to come home to (and that his roommate is unfairly attractive is just a plus, he supposes).

By the time he's headed back into the front room and collapses onto the couch, Kurt's out of his bedroom, walking the tiny space as if he's searching for something.

"What…" Blaine starts, his voice loud in the stillness, and Kurt flinches a little before he looks over with a glare. "Sorry. What are you majoring in?"

There's a pause, and Kurt looks almost afraid to answer, but he finally shrugs and tucks his hands in the side pockets of his jeans, all casual elegance.

"Musical theatre," he raises his chin as if daring Blaine to judge him but Blaine huffs a tiny, relieved sigh and smiles.

"Really? Maybe that's why they've got us rooming together, then."

"So you're…" Kurt's brow furrows before he lets his face relax, nodding sharply. "Well, it's nice to know somebody else in the program."

"Likewise," Blaine replies, shifting over on the couch and gesturing for Kurt to sit, which he does after a few tense seconds. "So, tell me a little about yourself?"

"What is this, honesty hour?" Kurt snorts, but he looks unconcerned as he replies, "I'm from Ohio. Lima, to be more specific. My father and step-mother and step-brother still live there, and I auditioned for NYADA with Rachel, my…" he pauses, and Blaine wonders what he was going to say before he obviously changes his mind, "a girl in the same grade as me. She got in, I didn't, NYU was my second choice," he sniffs, looking back at Blaine. "You?"

"I'm from Ohio, too," Blaine settles on saying. "Westerville. My mom and dad still live there, but I've got an older brother who lives in LA. Trying to make it as an actor," he laughs quietly to himself, because Cooper had dramatically clutched his chest and slumped to the floor when he'd heard Blaine was not only going to _New York_, but wanting to be on _Broadway_, although Blaine's got a tiny hunch that he might make it bigger than Cooper ever has. "I d-don't know if you did…anything with the theatre back home, but I was in Dalton's Glee Club," he knows that might be overstepping but Kurt for the first time actually _looks_ at him.

"A Warbler?" he laughs. "I think we competed against you a couple of times. McKinley High, New Directions," he settles back into the sofa, looking much more at ease now.

"_National Champion_ New Directions?" Blaine leans forward because _everybody_ around their corner of Ohio had heard about that one when it had happened. "Wait, Rachel isn't that tiny thing with the great voice and an ego you can see from space, is she?" he almost dreads the answer because he remembers her, and her undeniable talent, but he has a feeling she's not the easiest person to be around.

"Got it in one," Kurt rolls his eyes dramatically and Blaine thinks he could give Cooper a run for his money in the drama department, but from then on in the conversation flows easily, although there are times both of them seem to hesitate for just a second too long, like they're finding the words to say.

Blaine figures it's just because Kurt seems a little guarded, while for him it's because he's trying to make himself seem as straight as possible.

It's not going to be easy, but right now, it's the only thing he can do.

**II.**

The first day of classes is hectic and Hellish, Kurt feeling exhausted by the end and wondering how he's going to make it through years of this program if this is how he's reacting after only a day. He takes solace in the fact that Blaine looks nearly as wiped as he does and when the other boy suggests going to a nearby all-ages bar to wind down Kurt accepts without a second thought.

It's noisy, and crowded, because apparently half the campus has had the same idea as them, but they manage to find a table a little out of the way and order their (non-alcoholic, of course) drinks, and Blaine looks like he's not quite sure how to start the conversation so Kurt blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

"So, tell me about your love life," he regrets it almost instantly because Blaine starts to choke on his drink, but he recovers quickly and wipes a hand across his nose, blushing a little.

"Sorry, I just…there's not much to tell," Blaine idly plays with his straw, swirling the ice cubes in his Coke around as he frowns down at the table. "Dalton's an all-boys school, and yes, we saw….we had a sister-school that we had…co-ed dances and things, but I was never really the type to, you know," he looks surprised by his own words and Kurt has to stifle a smile behind his hand because it's obvious Blaine's out of his depth here. "I mean, there was this one time…after a dance. I took this girl from the other school and we ended up making out in the back of a car," he shrugs, like it's no big deal, and Kurt has the distinct feeling Blaine's hiding something from him.

"Blaine, if you've never done anything with a girl it's nothing to be ashamed of," he smiles, because at least he can tell the truth if Blaine asks him back (which of course he will).

"It happened," Blaine replies petulantly, but Kurt's really starting to doubt it. "But what about you, huh? Leave the ladies of Lima crying?"

"No, that was my step-brother's best friend," Kurt laughed dryly. "I had a girlfriend for a while, one of the cheerleaders, but it just…she was sweet, and beautiful, but she'd been involved with pretty much everybody in the school and I guess I'm old-fashioned, but I'm…"

"Waiting for the right person?" Blaine guesses, and Kurt nods, glad that (even though he hasn't told the entire truth) Blaine understands. "So that's your type, then? Cheerleaders?" he asks, sounding a little hesitant, and Kurt shakes his head.

"Not really. She was cute, and available, and she offered, and I didn't see any reason to turn her down, but that's…it was fun," he admits with a tiny shrug, even though it really hadn't been. Brittany's a sweetheart, but kissing her wasn't one of the greatest experiences of his life, and he'd still like to believe that…when he gets his first _real_ kiss…things will be different.

Or else he can't quite see why people _like_ kissing so much.

"So what is?" Blaine's hands were gripping his glass tightly, eyes blinking rapidly.

"My type?" Kurt asks in surprise, because he's never really thought about it (of course not with girls, but even with guys). "I'm not really sure. I think I'm probably more attracted to, you know, personality than any…physical features," he decides on, because the one thing he's realized is that if somebody is actively kind to him, there's a much greater chance he'll fall for them. Yes, Finn and Sam have other similarities, but the main reason his…infatuation with Finn had been as long-lived as it had was because Finn treated him like a person and not just 'the weird gay kid that deserves to get syrup and ice thrown in his face every day', and at the time, that had been exactly what he'd needed. "What about you?"

"Oh, I…" Blaine stammers, looking away and then down, and Kurt decides to take pity on him because it's obvious that Blaine's not like all the guys from back home who couldn't look past a good pair of breasts. And Kurt appreciates that, he really does, because most of the straight guys he knows don't fit into that category and it's…refreshing to meet somebody who does.

"Okay, how about this. Look around and pick out a girl in this bar, the first one that really catches your eye," Kurt leans forward, his own eyes scanning the bar for somebody suitable in case Blaine throws the question back at him, and he sees Blaine's eyes darting around the space before he vaguely gestures to a nondescript young woman sitting at the counter.

"Her, I guess," his eyes dart away and Kurt can tell that it's uncomfortable for him, so he doesn't press the issue any farther.

"It's fine. I guess going to an all-boys school you never had much of a chance to find out what you like," he shrugs and leans back, trying to adopt the most casual pose he can (although since most straight guys he know seem to sit with their legs as far apart as they can be he's at a loss because no, he's not going there right now).

"Yeah," Blaine agrees, looking relieved, and the topic turns much more mundane after that, about school and their dorm room and their old Glee Clubs and whether they should buy any groceries for their little kitchen, and Kurt was quickly finding that aside from being extremely handsome, Blaine was incredibly intelligent and he's really going to have to work at not letting it show that he might be a little _too_ interested in what his roommate has to say.

000

Kurt realizes the next morning that maybe he shouldn't be so surprised when he wanders into the kitchen to find Blaine half-naked, sweats riding low on his hips and hair a mess of curls that's infinitely more attractive than the slicked-back look he seems to favor, rooting around in the cupboards for some cereal.

The bathroom schedule had been mercifully easy to work out because with Kurt doing most of his routine in his bedroom he doesn't need to spend much time in there, and Blaine isn't taking a whole lot of time either so, for the time being, Kurt's glad that they're compatible.

Still, he tries to keep his eyes from roving over Blaine's surprisingly toned body and smooth olive skin, because straight guys are always half-naked around each other and it's no big deal so he can't turn this into one.

"Hey," he murmurs, and Blaine looks up and grins.

"Morning, Kurt," he turns and oh, God, he's got _abs_ and his entire body is small and compact and he looks _strong_ and he's maybe got the most defined hipbones Kurt's ever seen and he kind of wants to run his tongue along…he shakes his head, trying to get his mind out of the proverbial gutter before he makes a fool of himself. "Want some cereal?" he shakes the box, something sugary that Kurt normally wouldn't come within ten feet of, but his throat's managed to close up so he merely nods and Blaine hums to himself as he pours out a couple of bowls, Kurt sinking into a chair at their tiny table and wondering just how screwed one person can be.

000

Blaine's shaking when he makes it back into his room after breakfast, wondering what had possessed him to make him think walking around without a shirt in front of a guy that he thinks is beautiful is a good idea.

Probably just to prove his 'straightness', he reasons with a grimace, because the guys at Dalton had never had any trouble half-undressing around each other, but Kurt had seemed more than a little taken-aback and he makes a mental note to be fully-clothed around the other boy from now on.

Besides, it's not like Kurt's going to suspect anything as long as Blaine keeps up this pretense that the reason he's never had a real girlfriend is because he never had a chance, and he's sure that it won't be a problem between schoolwork and rehearsals and everything this semester, either.

He skims his fingers through his hair, gelling it back into oblivion as always and pulling out a cardigan and a pair of jeans from the closet before he gets dressed, shouldering his bag and nodding to himself in the mirror before he leaves his room and goes to wait for Kurt.

The boy in question sweeps out a few moments later, all perfect hair and clothes that still manage to fit him perfectly although they're casual and unremarkable, and he gives Blaine a tiny smile as they head off to class together.

**III.**

Things continue smoothly for a few weeks, both of them settling into their daily routines easily and on the weekends Kurt would go spend time with Rachel and Blaine would usually stay home and either study or Skype with some of his old Warbler friends, and the conversations between them didn't veer into dangerous territory at any point for which Blaine was grateful for.

But of course, as inevitably happens in college, midway through October somebody announced they were having a party the next weekend and 'all you bitches better show up or I'm coming to find you and drag you here myself!' so Kurt and Blaine really have no choice but to go, and what follows is a rather awkward night that Blaine's not quite sure he wants to remember fully.

All he can recall the next morning, waking up with an arm and a leg thrown over Kurt's waist and very, _very_ hard to boot, is that Kurt said something about not drinking since an unfortunate incident with his guidance counsellor's shoes when he was sixteen, and Blaine had decided to go for it regardless (despite knowing that he's a horrible drunk, the few Warblers parties where he'd indulged had taught him that well enough).

He's regretting it now, not least of all because as soon as he sits up he knows he's going to have the worst headache known to mankind and probably will have to rush for the toilet, but also because he's in Kurt's bed and he's never really seen Kurt's room before and _why is he in Kurt's bed in the first place?!_

"Morning," Kurt sighs next to him and Blaine turns his head slowly to look, blinking owlishly at the other man who's sleepy and rumpled and Blaine physically has to restrain himself because he doesn't think he's ever wanted another person so badly in his life. "Sleep okay?"

"Confused, but yeah. Fine," Blaine rasps, and Kurt chuckles and slides out from under him.

"I'll grab you a glass of water and an aspirin. Stay there," he orders, although Blaine has no plans to move anytime soon as he rolls onto his back and rubs at his eyes, groaning.

Kurt comes back in shortly with the items, Blaine propping himself up enough to swallow down the painkillers before he slumps back on the pillow and grumbles. "What…what _happened_ last night?"

"You drank. A lot," Kurt says, as if Blaine couldn't have figured that out himself. "And then you played 'Spin the Bottle' with some of the other theatre students and ended up sucking face with some random girl from one of the other dorms," he teases and Blaine feels himself blush, even though this should be a good thing. He can't remember any of that, so he'd have had to have been _really_ drunk. "And eventually you kind of fell asleep kissing her so I decided it was time to get you home, and somehow I managed it," he looks kind of proud of himself and Blaine can't blame him, because he probably isn't easy to move when he's just dead weight.

"Well, um, thank you," he mumbles, sitting up again and reaching to rub his temples. "Guess I had fun."

"Seems like it. Don't move if you're just going to throw up," Kurt reaches out, looking like he's not even thinking about the action, and brushes Blaine's hair off his forehead as Blaine hums and leans into the touch.

"I didn't do anything too embarrassing, did I?" he's almost afraid to ask because he knows that he finds Kurt extremely attractive and his filter goes away completely when he drinks.

"You're clingy, but that's about it. It could have been worse," Kurt moves away again and Blaine almost whines at the lack of warmth. "Go back to sleep, Blaine. I'll bring a garbage can over just in case you, you know, need it," he gets up and pulls the can beside his desk over, pulling the blankets up under Blaine's chin.

"Sorry you have to take care of me," Blaine yawns, because he's still really tired and the sheets smell like Kurt and it's more than a little intoxicating.

"It's fine. Just…don't make a habit of it. I'll be in the living room doing homework if you need me," Kurt pats his shoulder before getting up and moving away, graceful and silent as he pads out of the room, and Blaine groans and throws his arm up over his face because he could have given everything away last night and he really, _really_ can't risk Kurt finding out the secrets he's been keeping.

He's still sore, though, and his head still hurts and maybe if he goes to sleep he won't be thinking about his stomach cramping up on him, so he closes his eyes and drifts off almost immediately, hugging Kurt's pillow to his chest.

000

It's not exactly easy for Kurt to focus on homework after the night he's had. Yes, sleeping in bed with Blaine had been completely platonic, but the other man was an extremely friendly drunk and he wouldn't let go so Kurt had just…decided it would be easier for both of them to share.

Not that it was any great hardship on his part, of course, but he'd rather envisioned his first time sharing a bed with another man would be, well, slightly more romantic than this. And Blaine had seemed perfectly happy making out with that girl, drunk or not, so it's not like Kurt can really let his imagination get away from him.

He shouldn't have even been petting Blaine's hair earlier, although he'd seemed to enjoy it and Kurt knows it always makes him feel better when he's not feeling his best, so maybe nothing will come of it.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he goes back to rifling through his books, knowing he should get started on studying or writing an essay or _something_, but Blaine's still _in his bed_ and that's entirely too distracting a thought.

He needs to let it go, before he does something that makes Blaine get any suspicions about him.

He _needs_ to.

**IV.**

The breaking point, such as it is, comes at the beginning of November. It's another one of their program-based party nights, and while neither Blaine nor Kurt is drinking this time, the rest of their classmates certainly are and inevitably, as it always seems to do when a bunch of guys are congregated together, the talk turns toward their sex lives.

For some reason Kurt's out of the line of fire, sitting a little back and sipping on a glass of Diet Coke, but he watches Blaine get more and more flustered when he can't answer any of the questions being thrown his way and decides to take pity on him, walking over and seating himself beside the other boy before bringing up the topic of auditions they were having the next week. Blaine gives him a truly grateful smile and he has to smile back, but there's something tense between them for the rest of the evening.

The next morning Blaine sits down beside him on the couch and exhales heavily, like he's trying to compose himself, so Kurt turns away from memorizing a monologue and looks at him curiously. "Do you need something?"

"I just…" Blaine squeaks…literally _squeaks_…and it's adorable but Kurt has to hide his smile at the sound. "I was…you know, last night. I was thinking," he scrunches the fabric of his pants in his fists and Kurt has to resist the urge to reach out and calm him down somehow, because he looks incredibly nervous. "Okay. I'm just going to come out and say it and you can tell me I'm crazy afterward. So, college is all about…you know, experimenting, right? And I just thought…since both of us kind of want to wait for the right person, but neither of us has time to find that person with…with school and rehearsals and everything, and it doesn't have to mean anything this way so we don't have to worry about emotions or anything, but…"

"Blaine, stop," Kurt _does_ reach out now, touching Blaine's arm gently to halt him because he sounds like he's going to start hyperventilating at any moment. Kurt has an idea of what Blaine's suggesting, and he has to admit that he's torn between jumping Blaine right then and there (let's face it, Blaine's pretty much perfect boyfriend material) and reminding Blaine that both of them are _straight_ so doing this doesn't make any sense. "So you're…saying what? That we become friends with benefits?"

"Kind of," Blaine lets out his breath in a 'whoosh', like he's happy Kurt hasn't punched him or something, and his body sinks down into the sofa a little more. "Not really. Just…bros helping bros, you know? We're both straight, so I'm not saying we…you know," he makes a vague motion that probably is supposed to indicate sex and Kurt has to stifle a laugh because this is rivalling his father's 'you matter' talk in awkwardness right now. "Just…I thought…it's stupid, I know that, but…"

"It's not stupid," Kurt assures him firmly, not moving his hand from Blaine's arm. "It isn't. But I think we have to lay down some ground rules," he swallows, his throat suddenly dry, because for as much as he wants Blaine…and as much as he would kind of like to see what the big deal about sex is, seeing as how he's never gotten that much pleasure out of touching himself…he's still extremely self-conscious and Blaine's absolutely _gorgeous_, although he doubts the other boy will really care what he looks like underneath his clothes.

_He_ still cares, even if he knows that to Blaine this is nothing more than being fuck-buddies.

"Yeah. Rules," Blaine still looks awed that Kurt went for the idea, which Kurt isn't going to think too hard on, but he can understand being lonely and horny, mostly, so maybe he doesn't find the whole thing as weird as he should.

Or as weird as he would if he _was_ straight, but since he's not, and since Blaine's the one that brought it up in the first place, protesting too much is only going to hurt him right now.

"Okay. No kissing," Kurt thinks that's probably a basic rule, but truth be told, as much as he likes Blaine and would have no problem kissing him if they were actually going out, he'd still like his first _real_ kiss to be with somebody that finds him attractive _and_ that he's attracted to in turn.

"Okay," Blaine nods easily and Kurt smiles at him. "What else?"

"If either of us are…if it gets too weird, and one of us says 'stop', the other does, no questions asked," he continues, because he doesn't think he'll have a problem with anything they do but Blaine might find out pretty quickly that he does.

"Of course," Blaine furrows his brow for a second like he's thinking. "Anything else?"

"I think that's…all I can think of right now," Kurt admits, because he has no idea what Blaine has in mind for the two of them, but he's equal parts anxious and excited right now and he should probably go for a walk or something to cool down. "When would you…when do you want…"

"Um," Blaine blushes and fiddles with the buttons on his cardigan, staring at the coffee table. "Tonight? Maybe? Once we're done with…homework and everything and it's…and we won't be disturbed?" he looks up at Kurt, his hazel eyes wide and innocent and so fucking _trusting_, and Kurt wonders if this is really okay before he tells himself he can be selfish this time and nods in agreement.

"Okay. Tonight."

**V.**

Blaine's not nearly as nervous as he should be, all things considered. Yes, he'd been a little worried that Kurt wouldn't take so kindly to his suggestion, but while Blaine can tell he's got some reservations he also didn't say 'no' and that's more encouraging than anything.

And yes, Blaine would be lying if he pretended that he isn't doing this in part because Kurt's really, insanely attractive and it's a way to get closer without blowing his cover, but there's still a risk involved and he needs to make sure he's in-control of himself…well, relatively in-control of himself…at all times.

He's waiting for Kurt to come into his room, eyes darting over to the clock because it's already five minutes past when the other boy's supposed to show up and Blaine feels a little awkward standing there in just a pair of boxers, arms crossed over his bare chest. He'd figured that being fully nude wouldn't send the right…message, as it were, and maybe Kurt's not comfortable with nudity at _all_ (he always seems to be pretty covered up even coming out from a shower) and maybe this is a really bad idea so maybe…

"Hey," Kurt slips in through the door, luckily dressed down at least a little, but he's still wearing an undershirt and shifting awkwardly from foot-to-foot, frowning down at the ground and not meeting Blaine's eyes.

"We don't have to do this," Blaine says immediately. "You, ah, don't look comfortable, and we don't have to…"

"I'm fine," Kurt snaps, heaving a breath and then pulling off his undershirt in one fluid motion and holy fuck Blaine has to remind himself not to stare, because Kurt's _gorgeous_. No, he's not overtly muscled, but he's toned and pale and his skin looks silky-smooth everywhere, his entire body lithe and graceful and Blaine's hands twitch at his sides before he can stop them. "How are we…doing this?"

"Um, I thought…" Blaine goes to sit on the bed and leans back against some pillows he'd propped up earlier, keeping himself a little upright. "We could…you know, grinding? So that we don't have to…if you don't want to be naked…" he trails off helplessly but Kurt's eyes narrow a little and he's biting his lip like he's thinking.

"Okay. That's acceptable," he says after a few moments of tense silence, kneeling on the edge of the bed and letting out a shaky breath before he shifts up farther. "So I should…"

"Yeah," Blaine keeps his hands at his sides, clenched in the bedcovers because he knows he can't touch Kurt since that would be really weird, but Kurt's hovering over him now and he's not sure where they go from here.

It's undeniably awkward, having Kurt so close but being so careful not to touch each other, and he hears Kurt let out a huff of breath in frustration as his brow furrows and he leans in a little more. "You can…you can touch me," he almost whispers it, like it's a source of shame, and Blaine blinks in confusion because he's not sure how to take this.

"I can…"

"Look, nothing we're…nothing we're doing here leaves this room, right?" Kurt looks so earnest and Blaine nods, because he knows it has to be this way even though if he had his own way he'd be telling people all about the gorgeous, witty guy that's all but agreed to experiment with him.

But he's 'straight', and Kurt's _actually_ straight, so that's off the table completely.

"Okay, then. We don't have to be ashamed of ourselves, or each other, or what we're doing, and if we're going to be…engaging in frottage, I'm going to need some help," he's blushing almost beet-red by now and it's utterly adorable, but Blaine takes his cue and knows that Kurt's embarrassed enough already so he slides his hands up Kurt's arms, trying not to shiver at all the perfect, silky skin under his fingertips, until he's gripping the other boy's shoulders.

"Here, or…"

"My hips," Kurt looks down now and Blaine's not going to pressure him, but he obliges, resting his hands just above the waistband of Kurt's underwear and flexing his fingers slightly. "Okay," Kurt's eyes are wide as he finally looks into Blaine's own, swirling with blue-grey-green and Blaine nods as best he can, a little overwhelmed. "Should I just?"

"Yes," Blaine chokes out, hoping Kurt takes what's truly desire on his part to be merely nerves, and it takes him a moment to realize he's already hard and he wonders if his body's going to betray his true sexuality after all, but Kurt either doesn't notice or doesn't care as he rolls his hips down, making both of them gasp.

"So…do I just…" Kurt's voice is higher than normal, strained, and Blaine jerks his head in a half-nod and pulls down on Kurt's hips, trying to get him to keep moving.

Everything after that is hazy, but the absolute pleasure of having another man's cock pressed to his for the first time…never mind that it's through two layers of fabric…is turning him on like nothing else ever has and Kurt's _noisy_, making these little sub-vocal whines in his throat and humming under his breath as he rolls his hips faster.

Blaine's going to have masturbatory material for _months_ when this is done, but he realizes with a tiny thrill that he might not need it that often because, straight or not, _Kurt's willing to do this with him_, and the thought of going farther…of being completely skin-to-skin with Kurt one day soon…is about all he needs.

He tightens his fingers and hears Kurt gasp in response as his orgasm hits him, gritting his teeth and pressing his forehead to Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt thrusts down a couple more times, any semblance of rhythm gone, and then his whole body goes stiff. Blaine holds his hips down, keeping that friction going for him, and Kurt all but collapses on his chest when he's spent, sweat-sticky and too hot but Blaine loves it.

"Well," he breathes out, hearing Kurt groan something in response, and he's trying to think of what else to say when Kurt jumps back as if he's been burned, snatching his shirt up and giving Blaine a bare ghost of a smile before he's darting from the room.

Blaine hears the shower start a moment later and knows he'll need to take one when Kurt's finished, and maybe he should be freaking out a little more too because he's _just had sex for the first time_, but he's hazy-content and he flops back on his pillows, a no-doubt dopey smile on his face.

He needs to talk to Kurt later, make sure the other boy is still okay with everything, but this whole friends-with-benefits thing?

Maybe it's going to be wonderful after all.

**VI.**

Kurt doesn't talk to Blaine that night, and the next morning he's out of the dorms before the other boy's woken up, rubbing his hands in the brisk morning air as he waits for Rachel to meet him at the coffee shop.

Maybe it's childish, but he's just lost his proverbial virginity and it's kind of a big deal although Blaine had been…well, certainly not as hesitant as Kurt would have thought, but he'd hardly seemed worried at all and here Kurt was almost having a panic attack because of it.

"_Kurt!"_

And now the whole neighborhood was probably awake thanks to Rachel's shriek, but Kurt opens his arms gratefully and swings her around, both of them laughing. "It's only been a week!"

"Far too long," Rachel tells him, hooking her hand through his arm as they enter the shop and stand in line. "And you're doing that thing you do when you're thinking too hard. So once we get our coffees you're going to tell me everything."

Kurt debates whether or not he wants to but Rachel, for all that she can be self-centered and rather oblivious, does give good advice from time-to-time and it's hardly as if she's going to ever meet Blaine and say the wrong thing in front of him.

So he nods, and they head up to the counter to grab their coffees.

000

"I don't see what the big deal is," they're walking down the street, the sidewalks still mostly deserted because of the chill in the air and the early hour, and he looks at the small girl incredulously while she shrugs. "I'm serious, Kurt. He's a hot guy, you're attracted to him, he's willing to have sex with you…unless you yell out 'hey, by the way, I'm totally gay!' in the middle of sex, I don't think you have to worry," she's grinning by this point and Kurt resists the urge to shove her off the sidewalk into a puddle.

"I just…I can't figure out why he's taking this better than I am. I mean, he's the straight one, and yet I'm the one that's…"

"If it's just about getting off, maybe he's not even thinking that hard about it," she reasons, walking along the edge of the sidewalk.

"You don't think it's…bad that I'm doing this? That I'm…" Kurt pauses, shrugs his shoulders, and Rachel shakes her head and crowds in close to him.

"_No,_ Kurt. It's so much better than deciding you need to have random one-night-stands just to, you know, say you've had sex. I know you're a romantic, but you'll find him, and you'll be more experienced for it. This…this isn't bad, and as long as you're happy…"

Kurt thinks back to the night before, to being that close to Blaine even if it was only for the briefest amount of time, but he can't stop the smile that spreads across his face at the memory.

"I am."

"Then there's nothing to worry about. And on a different topic: Thanksgiving. What are your plans?" she asks, taking his hand as they make their way around the block back toward where they'd met.

"Oh, the usual. Dinner at home on Thursday and then…"

"Black Friday!" Rachel throws her arms up and Kurt has to stop her from toppling off the sidewalk, so she giggles and clings to him a little. "You, me, Tina…is Mercedes coming in from LA?"

"Last I heard, yes. We'll have to find the best Lima has to offer," he rolls his eyes slightly because 'the best Lima has to offer' is pretty horrible, but spending time with his girls is never a bad thing. "And we'll have to meet up with everybody if we can."

"Yes, definitely. We'll plan a Breadstix night," they've reached the coffee shop by this time and Rachel reaches up to kiss his cheek, stepping away and clasping her hands in front of her. "It'll all work out, Kurt. Just don't…worry so much. Enjoy it," she says with a grin and a knowing wink. "I've got to run to rehearsal but call me later and we can book plane tickets together, okay?"

"I will," he promises, watching her skip off down the street, and he actually feels better about everything now.

He'll put that down to being 'one of the rare times Rachel Berry actually gives useful advice' and he makes his way back to his dorm, knowing he'll have to face Blaine today and hoping that he can stay completely nonchalant about everything.

It's not a big deal anyway, he reminds himself, and maybe if he tells himself that enough times he might start to believe it.

**VII.**

"What are you checking out?" Blaine plops down next to Kurt on the couch, staring at his laptop screen and trying to sound casual. Kurt's been strange all day, a little distant, and Blaine's not sure how to bring it up with him so he's kept quiet for the most part.

"Hmm? Oh. Plane tickets to Ohio for Thanksgiving," Kurt mutters, chewing on his lower lip as he clicks through a few pages. "I should have known they'd be expensive for the holiday, but this is insane," he sighs and eventually seems to find something he deems acceptable, picking up his phone and sending a quick text before he drops it beside him. "Are you going home?"

"For Thanksgiving?" Blaine blinks, because he hasn't thought about it much. It's not like holidays at the Anderson household were anything to write home about, and last he's heard Cooper's too busy to fly home. So there's really no point, although he's kind of sad about that. "I don't think so. My family's…" he pauses, because he can't tell Kurt the real reason, but he can tell him a version of it. "They're…not happy I've chosen to pursue the arts instead of a…a real career, as my father so tastefully calls it," he wrinkles his nose. "And the last thing I want to do is sit there for a weekend with them judging me the entire time."

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt reaches to pat his knee, smiling kindly. "So you'd rather stay here all by yourself, then?" his tone is flippant but he's back to chewing on his lip, which seems to mean he's thinking, and Blaine waits for it. "You know, our house in Lima has a spare bedroom. One of my friends, Sam, stays there during the year but he'll be at home in Kentucky for the weekend. If you want to…" he looks at Blaine, his eyes telling the other boy that he does want Blaine to, and Blaine only hesitates for the briefest of moments before nodding.

"Yeah. That would…I'll pay for my own ticket and everything, but…thank you," he rasps, because he's never _had_ a real family Thanksgiving…at least not with a family like he's imagined a family to be…and he can't believe Kurt's just opening up his home to him.

"I have to warn you, my dad will probably give you the third degree because he's suspicious like that, but you'll love my stepbrother. He shares your affinity for violent video games," he nudges Blaine in the side and the other boy laughs, because he thinks he can handle Mr. Hummel. "And you'll have to survive two plane rides with Rachel, but dear God if you can get through those I think you're set for life."

"I think I'll manage. Dalton may have been an all-boys school but we had our fair share of drama queens," he laughs, moving closer still under the pretense of looking at the screen better, and Kurt gives him a sideways glance before relaxing and allowing Blaine to sit close enough that their thighs are pressed together.

Kurt's phone buzzes at him and he picks it up and sighs, shaking his head with a rueful chuckle. "Looks like we'll have an entire party heading home. Another friend of ours, Quinn, goes to Yale, and I guess she's asked if she can get in on the plane tickets before they're sold out. But as long as you catch her on a good day she's fairly sane," Kurt jokes, and Blaine's starting to think that Kurt's core group of friends is much more interesting than he's let on so far.

"Well, the more the merrier, right?" Blaine asks cheerfully and Kurt nods after a moment, although there's still some hesitation in his movements that Blaine doesn't feel right asking about.

Kurt's offered, and he's accepted, and he's almost surprised at how much he _wants_ to go spend time with Kurt's family and friends. He loves his fellow Warblers, of course he does, but there's nothing wrong with expanding one's horizons a little, right?

"So I'll pay you back once we get the tickets, okay?" he asks, too close to Kurt's ear and he notices the other boy shiver a little before he covers it up and turns to Blaine.

"Sounds good. I'm glad you're coming," Kurt hesitates for the briefest of moments before he lets his hand rest on Blaine's forearm and gives it a gentle squeeze, and Blaine's not going to think too much about that because it's just Kurt being friendly.

That's all it can be.

**VIII.**

Kurt realizes as soon as Blaine leaves the couch that he's going to have to do massive damage control, and he's on-edge until they exit the plane and are walking through the Columbus airport. Frantic e-mails to his friends and family explaining that he's bringing his roommate home from Thanksgiving and that Blaine thinks he's straight, so please don't say anything to the contrary, caused more than a few surprised responses, but he knew they wouldn't intentionally out him to Blaine.

He still worried about Rachel, although the fact that she and Quinn were across the aisle from Kurt and Blaine made that fear less, and Blaine actually got on rather well with the girls so most of his worries were unfounded.

"Over here, kiddo!" he hears a voice and looks up, a grin spreading across his face before he can help it as he runs across the floor and all but throws himself into his father's arms.

"Dad!"

Burt chuckles and lifts him up before setting him back down on the floor, smiling and ruffling Kurt's hair which only earns him a half-hearted glare. "New York's done you good, Kurt."

"I've missed you," is what Kurt says in response, because his dad of course looks the same as ever, and he's pulled away from their reunion by Rachel bounding over to say hello.

"Quinn's mother said she'll give me a ride home, so I'll call you Thursday night and we'll talk to Mercedes and Tina and figure out where we're meeting Friday morning, okay?" she reaches up to kiss his cheek and then she's gone, running after Quinn out the airport doors.

Kurt nearly forgets that Blaine is standing there until the other boy clears his throat, and then he feels a little embarrassed and laughs to cover it up.

"Oh! Dad, this is Blaine Anderson. Blaine, this is my dad, Burt Hummel," he gestures and Blaine steps forward, a polite smile on his face as he holds out a hand.

"It's very nice to meet you, Sir, and I'm grateful that you've chosen to open your home to me over the holidays…"

"None of that, kid," Burt grunts, shaking Blaine's hand heartily before he pats him on the back. "Any friend of Kurt's is welcome at our place, and 'Sir' is way too stuffy for a guy like me. Just 'Burt's' fine," he promises, and Blaine nods sharply before picking up his suitcase.

"He's really not that scary," Kurt whispers as they head out to his dad's truck, Kurt hopping in the front seat and Blaine squeezing into the small back area of the cab before they start heading back to Lima.

Kurt can tell that his dad approves of Blaine, at least, but since they're only going to be here for four nights it won't be that big of a problem even if he doesn't. Blaine's manners are impeccable, though, and if Kurt doesn't have any complains about him as a roommate…well, he has a feeling nobody else in his family will, either.

000

Carole greets Blaine with a hug, warm and comforting, and Kurt can tell by the way he melts into it that he doesn't get physical affection often and it breaks his heart a little bit because if nothing else Blaine is _very_ tactile and Kurt's just gotten used to Blaine touching his arm or shoulder or knee when they're sitting close on the couch.

It's friendly, of course it is, but he has a feeling that Blaine's like that with everybody he meets.

"Dude, you're home!" Kurt squeaks as he's fully lifted off his feet this time, grabbing onto Finn's arms and hoping that the giant oaf doesn't lose his balance and crash into the wall. "I missed you!"

"Yes, you big lug, I've missed you, too," he promises, wrapping his arms around Finn's shoulders and hugging him tightly. "Now put me down."

"You're totally not any fun," Finn pouts but does as instructed, keeping one arm loosely around Kurt's shoulders. "So you're Blaine, huh?"

"Tall," Blaine rasps, and Finn blinks at him in confusion. "You're just…you're really…"

"Oh. Yeah, I kinda am, but you're, like, super short, so…" he shrugs as if he hasn't said anything that might offend Blaine and claps him on the back hard enough to make him stumble. "Anyway, your room's downstairs, so you can take your stuff down if you want, and then Mom should have dinner ready," he grins and bounds off into the kitchen as Blaine stares after him in shock.

"My stepbrother," Kurt announces, causing Blaine to emit an awkward laugh. "He's harmless. Clumsy and unaware how large and strong he is sometimes, but harmless. I do love him, even if I pretend to be annoyed with him sometimes," he adds, because Finn is…well, _Finn_, and Kurt loves him dearly for it. Completely platonically at this point, but he's glad the other boy will always be part of his life.

"So I can just…" Blaine still looks out of place so Kurt nods, picking up the other boy's bag.

"I'll take you down and you can…gather yourself before heading back up to eat," he says softly. Blaine gives him a grateful smile and follows him down the stairs as Kurt lets out a sigh of relief that so far everything is going as well as can be expected.

He just hopes the rest of the weekend will be the same.

**IX.**

Dinner isn't as bad as Blaine feared it might be. Carole is wonderful and welcoming and already treats him like one 'her boys', as she puts it, and while Burt at first seemed rather gruff and intimidating Blaine can tell how much he loves his family and he's relaxed during dinner. Finn he's still figuring out, but while the other boy seems fiercely protective of Kurt he's also just a teenager like they are (albeit a very large one) and he eats like a human vacuum cleaner, but he makes Blaine promise to watch football and play video games with him the next day and Blaine gladly does.

After they're finished eating he escapes to the basement to unpack and let Kurt have some time with his family, sitting on the bed and bouncing a little bit as he tries to get used to the feeling of the mattress underneath him. He should be accustomed to it already, really, seeing as how in the past few years he's spent more time in dorm rooms, first at Dalton and now in New York, than in his own bed anyway, but there's something about being in a house again that's strange.

Especially a house where he's been welcomed and embraced so warmly instead of having judging looks thrown at him every time he's in the room with his parents, and he lies back on the bed and wriggles out of his shirt before dropping it to the floor, closing his eyes and sighing.

He should really get up and shower, wash the evidence of a day of airplane travel and a long car ride off of him, but he's too relaxed to care about that.

Relaxed and, he's almost ashamed to note, a little horny. It makes sense, maybe, because he hasn't been doing a whole lot of self-pleasure in their shared dorm room, and even though he and Kurt have an arrangement he can tell that the other boy is more than a little hesitant and after that first night he hasn't come to seek Blaine out.

So it's no wonder that he's feeling a little bit unfulfilled, and he's rather glad that his room is in the basement and nobody will likely come down to disturb him. He sneaks a hand down his chest, rubbing his thumb over one hardening nipple and sighing softly at the feeling. Skimming his fingers over his stomach, he moves down a little farther and cups himself through his pants, bucking up into his own hand.

He almost, _almost_ debates calling Kurt, but if Kurt's busy with his parents and his step-brother that would look really strange, so it's probably best if he does this himself for now. By the time he's got his pants undone and halfway down his legs he knows there's no backing out, and he's midway through shoving his underwear down when the door creaks open and Kurt comes in, chattering away about towels and toiletries before he grinds to a halt, his face flushing.

"Oh! Oh. I'll just, um…I'll leave you alone," he's blushing fiercely, face a dark red, and Blaine stops what he's doing and half-sits up. He can tell that Kurt needs this as much as he does, even if he's too proud or too afraid to ask for it, and he swallows heavily and holds his hand out. "B-Blaine?"

"We can…if you want? If we…if we're still doing that?" he sits up and leans against the headboard, beckoning Kurt closer, and the other boy finally nods and reaches to grip the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his head, Blaine hastening to get undressed and then Kurt's naked beside him, beautiful and pale and there's no way Blaine's going to be able to keep his attraction to him a secret for much longer.

He's got to try, though.

"What are we…what…" Kurt pulls his knees up to his chest and Blaine realizes that the last time they were at least in their underwear, but since Kurt had mostly walked in on him with his cock hanging out he's kind of glad they're both on the same page now, as it were.

"Hey," Blaine puts a hand on his knee and is inwardly glad when Kurt doesn't shake him off. "Remember, when it's just us, we can…we don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed or anything, because we're both in the same boat," he reminds Kurt gently, and it isn't as if he's completely comfortable being naked around somebody else, either, but he's so turned on it's hard to be self-conscious right now.

"Right," Kurt hesitates for a moment before he lowers his knees, keeping his gaze averted, and Blaine sneaks a glance at his cock, half-hard and long and pale and as impossibly gorgeous as the rest of him, before he leans in farther. "Are you…"

"I thought I could…with my hand?" he offers. "I mean, girls…they don't really know what feels good because they can't do it themselves, right? But if we get practice doing this to each other, it'll be easier to help our girlfriends out," the words even _sound_ like a lie to his own ears, and he's sure Kurt will notice, but either the other boy doesn't or he doesn't care because he nods quickly.

"Okay. Hand-jobs. Good," he moves so he's sitting up against the pillows and, after another slight hesitation, spreads his legs wider and breaths out slowly through his nose. Blaine leans closer, a little curious, and lets his fingertips brush over the head of Kurt's cock, the slit already leaking pre-cum and the other boy whines at the contact.

"You're so _loud_, Kurt," he chuckles to himself. "You know your family's…"

"Sorry," Kurt whispers, flushing from more than just arousal now. "I just…I can't…"

"It's okay," Blaine gets hit with a sudden inspiration and he's off the bed, digging through his suitcase and coming up with the one regular tie he's brought along (just in case something more formal came up, but he'll make do with bow-ties if he has to). "Kurt, I need to ask…" he hesitates, shifting the fabric in his hands. Normally, he thinks, if his partner was too noisy he'd just keep kissing them to keep them quiet, but they'd agreed on no kissing and he's going to honor that.

Still…

"What are you…what's that for?" Kurt's eyes are wide and impossibly blue and Blaine crawls back onto the bed. "Are you…"

"Only if you let me," Blaine tries to keep his voice soothing, running his hand down Kurt's arm and taking his hand for a brief moment. "Just…so your family doesn't hear anything. Okay?"

"Okay," Kurt nods sharply, fear creeping into his features, and Blaine really wants to kiss him and tell him that it's fine but he _can't_ so he pulls the fabric of the tie taut between his hands, lifting it up as Kurt obligingly opens his mouth and tying it off as tightly as he dares behind the taller man's head.

"Is that okay? Too tight?"

Kurt shakes his head, mumbling something inaudible, and Blaine's glad at least that his idea's going to work.

"Trust me," he says again, hoping against hope that even though he can't kiss Kurt on the lips, Kurt will let him do other things to him. "This is supposed to be enjoyable, right?"

A sharp nod.

"Then enjoy this, and as soon as you leave the room, it's like it never happened," he pushes Kurt back, smiling when Kurt reaches to grab his shoulders, seeming to need that connection. Blaine presses an open-mouthed kiss to his shoulder, careful not to do anything that will leave marks Kurt has to explain, and he hears the other boy inhale sharply. "Is that…too much? Can I…"

Kurt nods again and Blaine takes him at his word, scattering kisses down his chest and flat stomach before he pulls himself up again and straddles Kurt's hips, holding him down as Kurt moans around the gag.

Blaine's hand is damp with sweat when he wraps it around Kurt's cock for the first time, amazed at the silkiness of his skin and the weight of holding it in his hand. Kurt's eyes are glassy, half-closed and his breathing is ragged, fingers digging into Blaine's arms as he strokes up slowly and Kurt thrashes against his hold.

"Does that feel good?" Blaine tries to keep his voice as neutral as possible. He rubs his thumb over the slit and Kurt groans, so he takes that to mean that he's doing something right. "I still want to go quickly in case your parents come down," he warns before starting to move his hand, flicking his wrist at the end of every upstroke and watching Kurt's eyelashes flutter as he gives into the pleasure.

Blaine has to bite his lip to keep from saying the things he wants to: that Kurt's so fucking hot he has no idea, that he looks _amazing_ like this, that Blaine wants everything with him because he's falling for this boy and he's falling really fast.

But he doesn't. He keeps his concentration locked on what he's doing, his free hand idly rubbing at Kurt's chest and touching whatever skin he can, and he feels Kurt's entire body tighten up like a drawn bowstring two strokes before he's coming, eyes wide and making sharp little muffled grunting noises.

Blaine works him through it, stroking him slowly until Kurt flinches and whines something that's probably a command to stop, and Blaine pulls his hand away and grabs a tissue to wipe it off on before he reaches up to undo the gag, the tie ruined and wet with saliva as Kurt pants and looks at him fuzzily.

"Was that…um…"

Kurt only nods, reaching forward and pulling him into a hug in a rare show of affection. Blaine hugs him back, almost too tightly, and when he feels Kurt's hand snake between their bodies he bucks his hips toward it and hides his groan in Kurt's shoulder.

"Can we…like this?" Kurt asks, and Blaine can only nod, because he really doesn't care as long as he gets to come. "Okay."

"Okay," he repeats, kissing Kurt's shoulder again and feeling the other man wrap him up a little tighter as he starts to move his hand faster.

He is so, _so_ fucked.

**X.**

For his part, Kurt can't believe this is happening. All of it seems like some sort of strange fever-dream, and he has to remind himself that it's _real_, and Blaine's really _here_ and _naked_ and the slide of their skin together is almost intoxicating. It's so much, and so much more than he'd ever thought he'd get so soon, and he's trying really hard to stay calm but Blaine's just so…_comfortable_ with all of this that he's trying to open up a little bit more.

Blaine's lips against his shoulder make him shiver, make his cock twitch against his thigh, but he has to focus on Blaine now so he tries to ignore his own suddenly-there teenaged libido and strokes Blaine a little more firmly, his hand shaking.

Blaine's cock is almost a comforting weight in his palm, warm and smooth and yes, he'll admit, impressive. He knows he's not small by any means, but Blaine's quite a few inches shorter than he is and Kurt's hard-pressed to see the difference between them…down there.

Which is fine by him. Blaine's entirely too gorgeous for his own good, his body stunningly perfect and Kurt just feels awkward, because he's all legs and too pale and with an annoying bit of baby fat on his stomach that just never seems to go away no matter what he does, but Blaine's not making him feel inadequate or judged at all and that's…helping quite a lot, really.

"Kurt, _please,_" Blaine groans against his neck and Kurt realizes that he's gotten lost in thought, his hand just sort of loosely holding Blaine's erection, so he starts stroking a little faster, reaching a hand behind Blaine's head to tangle in his hair and pull him in closer.

"It's okay," he whispers and hears Blaine sigh against his skin before he starts sucking, and oh, God, this is probably against every rule they'd made for their little arrangement but at least it was November and he wears enough scarves on a regular basis that it won't look strange.

Still, he doesn't relish the thought of explaining to his family _why_ he's got a hickey, even though what Blaine's doing feels so amazing he doesn't want him to stop. "_Kurt,_" Blaine begs again, almost pleading and it's really, _really_ hot when he does that so Kurt takes pity on him and twists his wrist a little.

He's not really experienced in doing this…yes, he's a teenage boy, and he's had urges that he couldn't help but give into, but he knows that he's not jerking off nearly as often as most other guys his age (or at least the ones he'd gone to school with) so he hopes that what he's doing is good enough.

It seems to be, from the way Blaine's softly groaning and clutching at him, mouth still working against Kurt's neck as Kurt slides his thumb over the head of Blaine's cock, drawing a surprised gasp from the smaller boy.

"Feel good?" he asks, just to be sure, and Blaine nods shakily and pushes his hips upward.

"Yes, just…faster. Please. I need to come," he says it like he's almost ashamed of that fact but Kurt obliges, his hand working with more intensity as he strokes rapidly. "Oh fuck, Kurt, I can't…"

"It's okay," Kurt promises, swallowing loudly and feeling Blaine's whole body tense up as he tries to keep his orgasm at bay. "It's…it's okay, if you need to…come for me. I want you to," his voice drops without him even meaning to do that, coming out low and sultry, and Blaine bites down on his shoulder as he comes, entire body shaking with it and his hands scrabbling at Kurt's back.

Kurt closes his eyes against the sharp stab of pain, _really_ not expecting Blaine to have done that and he so does _not_ have a biting kink but it's…good, and it keeps him grounded as he strokes Blaine through his orgasm, the other boy boneless and shuddering as he slumps against him.

"Holy fuck, Kurt…" Blaine murmurs, closing his eyes and snuggling against Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt absently reaches to brush some wayward curls off of Blaine's forehead because he figures that in the afterglow he can maybe get away with a little bit more.

"Mm. Sticky," Kurt decides, reluctantly peeling himself away from Blaine and heading into the washroom to wet a cloth. He cleans himself up first before rinsing it and bringing it back, wiping off Blaine's stomach when the other boy seems too exhausted to do it himself. "Okay?"

"Yeah. Really, really okay," Blaine grins dopily at him and Kurt smacks his arm lightly, smiling fondly as he throws the cloth into the bathtub and starts to search for his clothes. "What're you doing?"

"Going to bed," Kurt replies briskly, even though his entire body is screaming at him to cuddle with Blaine and fall asleep in his arms.

He can't, and he knows that, and this is getting weird enough without all of these added feelings coming into play.

Especially when Blaine can never return them.

"I have to get up early to help Carole with dinner," he explains as he starts to pull on his underwear and Blaine makes a sleepy noise of protest.

"Stay," Blaine looks so earnest, his eyes sleep-hazed but still wide and pleading, and Kurt's mind is screaming at him to get away from there because he's going to blow his cover.

But…

It's Blaine. And he can't. And this is only going to end in heartbreak, but he _deserves_ to be happy for now even if it's only one-sided.

"Okay. Just for a little bit," he concedes, and Blaine smiles lazily before shoving himself under the covers, Kurt joining him and gasping in surprise when Blaine slings an arm over his stomach and cuddles up to his back. "Blaine?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"This is…really gay. Like, _really_ gay," he says cautiously and Blaine smacks his lips and presses them to Kurt's shoulder again.

"You're warm. I'm tired. Go to sleep, Kurt," Blaine murmurs, already halfway there himself, and Kurt tells himself that he'll get up early in the morning so his father and Carole and Finn won't suspect anything.

It's still so wrong.

But he just can't bring himself to really care.

**XI.**

Blaine wakes up with a start, his hips rolling lazily forward and he scrambles back before he can even register why exactly he's in bed with somebody else. Naked in bed with somebody else, he remembers suddenly, and he doubts Kurt will be happy to have his morning wood snugged up against him. Blaine sighs and sits up a little, glancing over at the clock. 6:00 in the morning. Good.

"Kurt," he whispers, taking those last few moments to stay close because he doubts Kurt will ever want to repeat this. And really, he shouldn't be repeating it because Kurt's going to be questioning whether Blaine's really as straight as he says he is pretty soon if he does.

Kurt hums and finally opens his eyes, stretching a bit and looking over at the night-table. " 's early," he mumbles, still at least half-asleep, and he turns around and tucks his head under Blaine's chin.

Blaine's freaking out, because _fuck_, this is every wet dream he's ever had come true, but he's so close to blowing his cover already and that can't happen. Not when he's in a strange town, in a strange house, miles away from anybody that can come get him if things get ugly. "Kurt, hey, we fell asleep last night…you need to get up…"

"Mmwha?" Kurt slurs, finally opening his eyes and blinking before he realizes the position they're in. Blaine looks for some sort of horror to pass over his face but he looks…surprised, and a little embarrassed, but certainly not mortified. "Oh. Well. I should…" he rolls away from Blaine and stands up, quickly getting dressed and running a hand through his hair before he heads for the door. "Get some more sleep, Blaine. I'll see you in a couple of hours," he lifts one hand in a wave before leaving, and Blaine flops back on the bed and tries not to think about how badly that could have gone.

000

Breakfast is a casual affair, a quick, "grab whatever you want!" from Carole greeting him as he enters the kitchen, and he takes a banana and a croissant from the bowl on the table before retreating to the living room, sitting beside Finn on the couch.

"Yeah, it's better to just leave 'em be, dude," Finn grins at him and gestures to the TV. "You like football?"

"Love it," Blaine admits, and Finn shoots him a grin and turns the game on, both of them eating in silence (although admittedly Finn eats about three times as much as he does) before he turns to Blaine and Blaine gets inexplicably nervous.

"Kurt hates football," he says conversationally. "Which is weird, 'cuz he was on the team for a bit, but I don't think he really cares about the rules or anything," he laughs as Kurt sweeps into the room and levels a glare at him, grabbing their dishes before he's rushing back into the kitchen.

"Kurt played football? I mean, he told me about Glee Club, but…"

"Yeah, for a bit," Finn leans forward to turn the volume down on the TV before half-turning toward Blaine. "Look, dude, Kurt's…he doesn't let people in real easy, so the fact that he likes you enough to invite you here for a family holiday? That's huge. And I trust him, so I know you're a good guy, but I still don't wanna say too much because he should tell you his own story, right?" Finn's brow is furrowed as he searches for what he's going to say next. "Okay. Um, well, he was really tiny back in like sophomore year, and his voice has always been kinda high so some of the jocks gave him crap for it. I mean, once we all joined Glee Club and especially after our parents got married I've been trying to look out for him, but sometimes I…I couldn't, and that was my own fault," Finn looks guilty and Blaine's not going to press, not this time.

"And…"

"Oh! Yeah, so one day he asked me to help him get on the football team because it would make his dad happy, so he and I practiced for a bit and he ended up being the kicker. Won us our only winning game of the season," he laughs and shrugs. "I mean, he didn't stay long, once he had to choose between football and Glee Club it was pretty easy for him to quit, and then the next summer he hit his growth spurt and after all of us in the Club started lookin' out for him he really didn't need to pretend to be into sports anymore, so…" he finishes and leans back, and Blaine bites his lip and turns his face away.

He'd guessed that Kurt wouldn't have had it easy, even being straight, because people would assume things from his voice and the way he dressed and the way he carried himself, but maybe both of them have some demons in their past they still need to let go of.

"Well, I'm glad he's letting me be his friend. He's…really great," Blaine knows it's lame, but Finn claps him on the shoulder anyway and turns back to the TV, so Blaine settles in to watch and tries not to think about anything other than football.

It doesn't really work, because Kurt seems to be on his mind all the time, but maybe he can pretend for a few more hours that he's _not_ falling for his straight roommate.

**XII.**

By the time Friday night comes around, Kurt's feeling more relaxed and more like himself after a day shopping with his girls. He doesn't have to hide around them, and even though he _also _couldn't hide how he really felt about Blaine from Tina and Mercedes, he knows both of them will keep their mouths shut.

The night ends with Finn trying to get information out of him about whether he likes Blaine or not, and even though his stepbrother is being stupidly persistent Kurt can tell that he would be okay with it if he and Blaine _were_ dating and that's a good feeling (even though he knows it'll never happen).

He eventually shoos Finn from his room and lies back on his bed, determined to stay upstairs tonight. Last night had been…incredible, certainly, and sleeping naked in Blaine's arms was something he'd dearly love to repeat, but it's far too dangerous and he's already worried enough about tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night. The party at Rachel's because her dads had to leave in the morning for some reason so Puck's bringing the alcohol and they're going to have, in Rachel's words, a 'full New Directions reunion, Kurt, and of course you can bring Blaine!' so now he has to count on all of his friends remembering that Blaine doesn't know he's gay.

And it's hard enough for them to remember things sober, much less completely trashed, so he's fully expecting his secret to be out by the time tomorrow's over and he's not sure what he can do to prevent that.

000

"Shove over, Hobbit," is what greets Blaine as he's sitting on the couch downstairs at Rachel's place. The party is in full swing and he's got a can of beer in his hand, determined not to get plastered like the last time he'd been at a party, but he obediently moves and the girl plops down beside him.

Santana, he remembers, and she's pretty in a really fierce way and her entire being radiates confidence and self-assuredness in a way he's never quite been able to pull off outside of being on stage. "Did you…need to talk to me?"

"Cut the crap, Frodo," she replies, crossing her legs primly and staring at him with dark eyes. "You're queer as a three-dollar bill and I don't know why you're hiding it. Kurt's not going to judge you," she sniffs and Blaine pales immediately, the room spinning and he _knows_ it's not from the alcohol and _oh, God, she's going to tell Kurt and_… "Hey, _hey!_" she snaps her fingers in front of his face and he turns to her quickly, swallowing. "Don't look so scared. I'm not going to out you; that happened to me, and it sucks," she shrugs and Blaine gets it and nods. "I notice you're not denying it, though, which is good because my gaydar is totally accurate and I _know_, okay?"

"Okay," he squeaks out. "And I…I can't tell Kurt. I want to, I know that he'd be…be okay with it, but I _can't_," he doesn't elaborate and thankfully she doesn't ask, but she leans back and sighs.

"Look. Kurt's…special, okay? And I can tell you like him."

"I don't…"

"You've been staring at him since we got here. You want what Hummel's got, and I don't blame you, but you're never going to get your chance unless you tell him," she makes it sound so simple and Blaine's not about to tell her that he's _already_ getting his chance, although maybe not in the way he'd like.

"He's straight, Santana," he protests and he can see Santana roll her eyes and wonders what that's about before she turns to him and taps her fingers on his knee.

"Let me tell you a story, Hobbit. Back in sophomore year I slept with pretty much every guy in the school. Sex? Yeah, it felt good, but it meant nothing. And then Brittany and I started fooling around," she gestures to a blonde girl who's hanging off of Kurt's neck and talking about…unicorns, apparently. He can see a softness in Santana's eyes when she looks at the other girl and he immediately knows that there's something there. "Brittany and I…we were both hot, we were both cheerleaders, we both decided one day that fooling around would be a good idea. So we did. And by the middle of junior year, we were still fooling around and I was starting to think that maybe I was bisexual. But the more and more I was with Brittany, the more I realized that sex with her didn't just mean more because she was my best friend, but because she was a _girl_, and by the time senior year came around? Lesbian," she points to herself.

"That's…I mean, that's great that you figured it out, Santana, but I don't see what it has to do with…"

"Point is, pretty pony, that sexuality isn't a straight line. It's fluid. Sure, Hummel's made out with girls before…with Brittany, actually…but that doesn't mean he's straight. I mean, has he ever been interested in finding a girlfriend at college yet?" she turns to him, her gaze piercing, and he knows he's caught.

"Well, no, but…"

"But nothing. Take a chance. You might be surprised," she pats his arm before winking at him and standing up, pulling down her skintight mini-dress before she heads off to talk to Brittany.

Blaine knows he can't take her advice, because that would mean admitting he's been lying to Kurt and enjoying their 'bro-sessions' much more than he's been pretending to, but the thought that Kurt might not be entirely straight?

Yeah, it's a nice one.

000

Eventually a highly intoxicated Rachel screeches about 'Spin the Bottle!' and Blaine is roped into playing, sitting between Kurt and Santana (both of whom still seem relatively sober compared to some of the others) and watching as the rules are laid out ("it doesn't matter who you land on, you're kissing them, we're all friends here!") before the game starts.  
It's fun, in a way, just to be carefree and not worry about sexuality or boys and girls or anything, just a bunch of teenagers having fun, since Dalton was always pretty stuffy and they never really had the chance to let loose like this.

He ends up kissing both Rachel and Santana, and it's fine enough although Rachel is so far gone that her mouth almost misses his when she tries to go in and she ends up falling on top of him, cackling manically until Santana heaves her off and pushes her back across the circle.

The only real bit of awkwardness comes when Finn tries to point out that 'relatives shouldn't have to kiss, that's practically incest!' when the bottle lands on Kurt, but he's quickly overruled by another boy sporting a Mohawk (Puck, if he remembers Kurt's introductions) who's grinning rather evilly and says,

"Dude, you and Kurt aren't even real brothers, and besides…if this was back in sophomore year, Kurt would be…"

Blaine doesn't get to find out what Kurt would have done back then because the boy in question scrambles across the circle and smacks his lips to Finn's for barely even half a second, sliding back and glaring at Puck who looks properly abashed.

Finn doesn't look all that traumatized, though, and he just shrugs and goes back to drinking his beer as Kurt brushes his shoulder against Blaine's and heaves what sounds like a sigh of relief.

And now Blaine's _really_ confused, because it's not like anything like that could have happened with Finn and Kurt before, but Santana's smirking like the cat that's got the cream but he tries to put it out of his mind and focus on the fact that Kurt's spinning now, and as the bottle slows down he starts to get a Very Bad Feeling.

A feeling that's only complicated by the fact that, of course, the bottle's pointing straight to him, and he looks up and sees Kurt looking at him in a mixture of fear and shock while Santana, who's literally turning into the devil on his shoulder, leans forward and whispers, "Go get him."

And Blaine knows he really doesn't have a choice.

**XIII.**

Kurt almost groans at the predictability of it all. He'd just managed to avert a near crisis (he should have _known_ somebody would inadvertently almost out him, and while he was betting on Brittany initially, he quickly realized that nobody except those close to her would have any idea what she meant when she talked about unicorns and dolphins so he was probably safe there. But trust Puck to bring up his old crush on Finn and nearly ruin everything) and even though, yes, four years ago kissing Finn would have been something really high on his list, it wasn't as if it had been earth-shattering now considering the circumstances.

Plus he does kind of see Finn more as a brother now than anything, so it's best to leave it at that. But of course, of _course_ his spin would land on Blaine, and from the look on Blaine's face, he's not ready to do this either.

Still, it'll look far more suspicious to back out, and he sighs and turns to his side, smiling apologetically at the shorter man.

"With tongue!" Santana shouts from Blaine's other side, her words dissolving into a cackle, and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"You can't change the rules, Satan."

"I just did, Hummel," she retorts, looking around the circle. "Anybody object?"

There's silence from everybody else, and Kurt glares at the circle at large although most of the girls at least look excited for him and dear God, do they _all_ know he's got a raging crush on Blaine?

"Blaine, we don't have to…" he starts but Blaine shakes his head and cuts him off.

"No. It wouldn't be cool of us to back out now, and it's not really a big deal, right?" he raises one eyebrow slightly and Kurt nods, telling himself that he has to look at it that way, too.

"Right," he scoots closer and reaches to place his hand on Blaine's face, tilting his chin up. He can feel the other boy's breath stutter and his eyes half-close for a moment before he leans in, his own arms draping over Kurt's shoulders and pulling him closer.

They sit there for a matter of seconds, breathing each other's air and staring into each other's eyes, before Kurt realizes that he's once _again_ kissing somebody that doesn't love him back and he really needs to stop that, but it's too late and Blaine's lips are already on his.

He can tell that Blaine hasn't had _much_ experience (not that he's one to talk, obviously), but he's sure and firm, pressing against Kurt's lips without any hesitation and when he flicks his tongue against them, seeking entrance, Kurt can barely muster the muscle memory to open his mouth.

And then he does, and the surprised little moan he lets out when Blaine's tongue brushes against his causes more cackling from Santana. He chooses to ignore her, holding Blaine's face with both hands now and trying to imagine that it's just them, that Blaine feels the same way he does, and that nobody's going to interrupt them or let reality come crashing back in, because this?

Even if Blaine's straight, even if it means nothing to him, Kurt's _definitely_ counting this as his first real kiss.

Blaine pulls back far too soon for his liking, his lips kiss-swollen and his eyes a little glazed, and Kurt quickly lets go of his face and moves back, cheeks burning as he wraps his arms around his knees and stares at the floor. He can feel Blaine shifting beside him, clearing his throat.

"Was that good enough?" the other boy asks and Santana must approve because the next thing Kurt knows the bottle is spinning again, and he's just grateful that it doesn't land on him for the rest of the evening.

000

"Are you mad?" Blaine knocks at his bedroom door later that night, both of them obviously tired and Kurt _really_ doesn't want to fly back tomorrow but it's not like he has any choice.

"At you? No. At Santana? That's…debatable," he decides, sitting up and motioning Blaine over, and the other boy sits beside him, closed off and drawn in until Kurt rests a hand on his knee.

"Blaine, I know that…this whole friends with benefits thing doesn't mean anything, but I _am_ here for you if you need anything. I'm not afraid I'm going to, you know, suddenly become gay because I'm touching another boy," he promises with a tiny smile, and if part of it is because he also wants Blaine to hold him, that doesn't really matter.

Blaine huffs out a tiny laugh and moves sideways, letting his head dip to rest on Kurt's shoulder and turning into his body. "Your friends are really great, Kurt," he says, sounding half-asleep already. "I had a lot of fun tonight…kissing random people included," he sounds completely genuine and Kurt's glad for it.

"Good. I think they like you, too, for what it's worth," he laughs and Blaine nods against his shoulder, yawning rather adorably. "We should get some sleep. It's late, we've got to get to the airport tomorrow, and then…"

"Back to work," Blaine replies, making no move to get to his feet or return to his own bedroom, and Kurt doesn't have the heart to tell him to move when he looks so comfortable right here.

And yes, okay, he's being selfish again, but he _deserves it_ so he's going to enjoy every moment Blaine gives him like this.

"Mm-hmm. Did you have a good holiday?" he asks, quietly, and Blaine's eyes pop open as he stares up at Kurt.

"The best. Your family's so amazing, Kurt, and I just…thank you. For letting me come with."

"I'm glad you did," Kurt whispers, and Blaine responds by yawning again and lying back down. "Blaine? Are you…"

But Blaine seems well and truly asleep, so Kurt sighs and reaches over him to turn the bedside lamp off, setting the alarm on his phone and shifting them so they're under the blankets. He wraps his arms around Blaine, figuring he can play it off as accidental if he's still there in the morning, and closes his eyes.

Just before he falls asleep he can hear Blaine mumble something that sounds suspiciously like, 'think we should try blowjobs next…once we're back…' and while Kurt's face heats up at that, he's not going to object if Blaine brings it up again when he's fully awake.

He's really, really not.

**XIV.**

Blaine's not sure, when they get back to New York, how to tell Kurt that his half-asleep mumblings shouldn't be taken seriously and that he doesn't _really_ expect them to go into blowjobs. He'd love to, of course, because, well, there's no way it won't be amazing, but at the same time…there's really no way to play it off as anything but having another guy's dick in your mouth, and there's nothing at _all_ straight about that.

Which is why he doesn't expect Kurt to come into his room after he's done his nightly shower. Yes, it's a Friday night, and they're being boring by staying at home, but he's currently sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs and with his arms flung out, staring at the ceiling.

He scrambles to cover himself up when the other man comes in without knocking, but then he realizes that it doesn't make much sense for them to be squeamish around each other anymore…not after they've _slept together naked._

"Hey," he sits up, crossing his legs and staring at Kurt questioningly. "Do you, um…is there…"

"You…I don't know if you remember, but the last night we were in Lima you talked about…" Kurt stops, wringing his hands a little, before he visibly steels himself and continues. "Blowjobs. And I…I'd like to try that. If you still want to," he adds quickly and Blaine swears that his brain shuts off for a moment because Kurt's been fairly passive so far in their little…arrangement. Yes, he seems happy enough to partake, but he's never really…started anything, and now…

"Kurt, we don't have to…I mean, I'm sure that our girlfriends can figure it out by themselves, it's kinda…"

"Gay?" Kurt arches an eyebrow and Blaine flushes a little before he nods meekly. "I know that. But, well, neither of us are exactly getting lucky in the love department right now, and so…why not? Like you said, nothing we do leaves the bedroom when we're finished, so…" he shrugs one shoulder, looking remarkably unconcerned, and Blaine tries to adopt the same level of utter indifference.

"Yeah. You're right. I mean, it's gonna feel good either way, right?" he smiles and Kurt returns it after a moment, a little tentative as he moves toward the bed. "Do you want me to…"

"I'll go first this time," Kurt cuts him off with a wave of his hand, his eyes roving over Blaine's body in a way that has him hardening almost instantly. "Besides, you're already far closer to being naked."

"True," Blaine laughs to cover up his nerves this time, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear before he pushes them down, kicking them to the side and leaning back against the pillows as Kurt climbs on the bed.

It should feel weirder to be nude while Kurt's still fully-dressed, but somehow it's okay, and Kurt settles his hands on Blaine's knees and urges his legs apart, crawling between them before bending his head. "Is this okay?"

And oh, God, the sight of Kurt like that is doing _things_ to him that he'd rather not think about, so he nods and tries to hold in a whine when Kurt's tongue flicks out to touch the very tip of his cock. "K-Kurt…" he groans, and Kurt looks strangely smug as he looks up at him.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay," Blaine promises with a nod, but he has a feeling this is going to be over embarrassingly quickly, especially since Kurt's barely _started._ "Do you, um…I mean, have you…"

"I have an idea of how this works, but tell me if…if it feels good, okay?" Kurt gently caresses the inside of his knee and it does wonders to calm Blaine down, his body sinking into the pillows.

"Okay," he promises, but a second later his fingers are scrabbling to find purchase on the slippery sheets because Kurt's mouth is around him, hot and wet and tight and _so_ much better than his hand could ever be, and when Kurt sucks a little and presses his tongue against the underside of Blaine's erection he can't stop the moan that slips past his lips, fingers clenching in the blankets.

He whimpers when Kurt pulls off, wanting to yank him back, but Kurt just works his jaw a little bit before saying, "You can…touch me. If you want to. My hair, I mean," he laughs, and Blaine knows that Kurt's pretty particular about his hair. "Just don't…choke me, or anything."

"I'd never," Blaine promises, but when Kurt's lips close around him again his hand flies to Kurt's hair without him even realizing, tightening a little, but from the not-at-all-unpleased sound Kurt makes low in his throat he's obviously okay with it.

Kurt moves down a little farther, taking him in a little deeper, and when he looks up at Blaine now, his lips stretched around Blaine's cock and his eyes dark, looking somehow innocent and utterly devilish at the same time, Blaine can barely stop himself from coming right then and there. "Kurt, I…"

"Hmm?" Kurt makes a questioning noise, the vibrations shooting through Blaine's body and he gasps as his hips buck up of their own volition, causing Kurt to throw an arm over his waist and hold him down.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I just…can you…do that again?" he asks hesitantly, but Kurt seems to understand and hums again, sliding his mouth up and down, tongue flicking and the sensations are almost overwhelming, Blaine trying desperately not to move too much even though he just _really_ wants to fuck Kurt's mouth but that won't end well for either of them.

Kurt's eyes are closed now, his free hand wrapped around the base of Blaine's cock as he bobs his head, and Blaine can feel the familiar tightening of his muscles that tells him this is all going to be over really, really soon.

"Kurt, I…I'm gonna…if you want to…"

Kurt's eyes snap open them and the challenge in them is undeniable. He breathes out slowly through his nose as Blaine strokes his hair, trying to calm his body down, but it only takes one more lick-suck-hum for it to be all over.

Blaine can feel Kurt holding him down as his body spasms, orgasm washing over him in a flood of sensation and hot-wet-slick-tight around his cock, and when he comes to himself again Kurt's sitting back on his knees, looking amazed and used and he wipes his hand over the back of his mouth.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry, I…"

"It's fine," Kurt sounds a little hoarse and he coughs, clearing his throat before speaking again. "Really. I…if I hadn't wanted you to do that I would have stopped you," he shrugs, and Blaine's not going to think too hard of the implications of that, but now…

"Are you…um…do you want me to…return the favor?" he asks, surprised that he's actually kind of excited about this. Really, he knows he's 100% gay, but it's not until now that the idea of actually going down on another guy has seemed like something he can't live without.

"Yes. I'd…" Kurt pauses, reaching to slip his shirt over his head, and Blaine helps him get undressed and switches places with him, knowing that something's changing between them tonight and he's just not quite sure _what_ it is or even if it's good or bad.

The only thing he knows for certain is that nothing's quite so simple anymore.

**XV.**

Kurt doesn't want to freak out, but as he leans back against the pillows he realizes he's really, really close to doing just that. He'd just given Blaine a blowjob. And not only that, he'd just let Blaine _come in his mouth_, and while that should mortify him a little because he doesn't even want to think about the fact that he just swallowed ejaculate, it's really kind of…well, hot, and he hadn't hated it, and Blaine had been coming apart under him and he just…couldn't stop.

But it's okay, he reasons, because it's really the first time he's taken any initiative in this little…thing they've got going on, and Blaine's staring up at him, hands spreading Kurt's knees apart as he leans in.

Kurt sucks in a breath, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, a shudder going through his body as Blaine hesitantly licks at the head of his cock. It's…different, especially when he's only ever had fingers and hands touching him there, but he has a feeling it won't take much for him to realize he really, _really_ loves getting blowjobs.

"Okay?" Blaine looks up, eyes wide and long eyelashes fluttering as he stares at Kurt, and Kurt can only nod because he doesn't trust his voice right now. "Okay," he sounds relieved as he leans in again and slips his mouth over the head of Kurt's cock, sucking lightly. Kurt groans and his fingers tangle in Blaine's curls without him meaning them to; he pulls off a second later murmuring hurried apologies as Blaine shakes his head and gazes up at him once more.

"Kurt, hey, it's cool. I mean, I don't think I've got much of a gag reflex so if you want to…I'm okay with that. With…um…you know, what you did for me? I'm okay with it," he's blushing now and Kurt takes a moment to realize that 'what you did for me' really means 'when I came in your mouth' and if anything he gets even _more_ aroused because of it.

He nods shakily and replaces his hands, tugging Blaine's head down as the other boy laughed and eagerly closes his lips around Kurt's cock again, taking him in deeper as Kurt moans and bucks his hips up.

True to his word, Blaine doesn't even flinch, simply opens his throat and takes Kurt in as far as he can and holy _fuck_ he wasn't lying about having no gag reflex. "Blaine…Blaine, that's…"

Blaine hums, probably meaning it as a question but all it does is make Kurt's toes curl as he pulls maybe a little too hard at Blaine's hair, the other boy whining a little at the tug although his rhythm never falters.

Kurt tries to hold out as long as he can, but with everything going on…the hot, wet tightness around his cock, the tiny flicks of Blaine's tongue that are driving him half-mad, the fact that Blaine looks like he's damn near thriving doing this…it's not going to take much.

"Blaine, I'm…I'm c-close," he finally manages to stammer and Blaine nods in apparent understanding, eyes lowering as he focuses even more intently on his task and it only takes a few more swallows before Kurt's coming with a drawn-out moan, curling up so his hands are nearly on Blaine's back as he bends forward and comes down the other boy's throat.

He slumps down against the pillows once he's spent, trying to catch his breath and with an arm thrown over his eyes to block out the world. He hears Blaine rustling about, leaving the room and then coming back in as he gently touches Kurt's arm.

"Mm?"

"Mouthwash?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, and Kurt takes the proffered cup and swishes the minty liquid around before spitting it back, nodding his thanks as Blaine pads back to the washroom to empty the cups out. He smacks his lips, leaning back with his mind racing because…what _was_ that?

No straight man he's ever known would have done what Blaine just did and, what's more, have looked almost _happy_ to be doing it. He doesn't want to think too much about it, because after all it's not like he's being entirely truthful, either…but it's something that's been niggling at his mind for a while now and it's only getting more obvious as the days go by.

Which, of course, begs the question: is Blaine hiding his sexuality the same way Kurt is, or did he honestly not realize until now that he might be sexually attracted to men as well?

There's no safe way to broach the topic, not without admitting that he's been lying for months, so he stores the information away in the back of his bran and vows to examine it more closely later.

Blaine crawls on the bed beside him and curls in close, head on Kurt's shoulder and an arm thrown lazily across his chest.

"…Blaine?"

"Just…stay with me tonight," Blaine whispers into his skin, and this is really only furthering Kurt's suspicions.

Still, sleeping with somebody is more enjoyable than sleeping alone, so he gets the covers up over them and holds Blaine close, their legs tangling under the sheets.

"Okay," he agrees, hearing Blaine's pleased hum in return, and he knows that sooner or later the truth has to come out, on both their parts.

He's just not quite sure how much longer they can keep this up without breaking.

**XVI.**

Blaine knows as soon as he wakes up that things have gone too far, and it's probably all his own fault in asking Kurt to stay. He's never been that great at pretending, and after last night, well…the truth has to come out sooner or later, but it's much sooner than he would have thought.

Kurt shifts beside him, curled up against his side, and Blaine strokes his hand over the silky skin of his shoulders and back, unwilling to stop touching especially now that he knows he might never get the chance again.

Or, he thinks with a pained smile, he might get it one last time, but that's _if_ Kurt will agree to the plan he's currently coming up with. It's a stretch, and he knows it, but it's now or never.

"Blaine?" Kurt asks sleepily, looking up, his hair mussed and his eyes half-lidded. "Is it morning?"

"Yeah," Blaine whispers, his fingers still trailing lightly over Kurt's skin, and Kurt sighs heavily and doesn't move, although the arm he's got around Blaine tightens a little.

"We need to talk."

"I know," Blaine chokes back the emotion that's building in his throat, because he's dreading this. "But first can I…can we pretend that…I want…"

"What?" Kurt doesn't sound angry, at least, but his eyes narrow a little and he shifts more upright. "What is it?"

"I have…one more thing I want to try. Before we end this. And I don't…I want to do it before we talk, before this all is…" he shakes his head, unable to say anything else, and Kurt just lets him collect himself.

"Tell me," Kurt prompts, sitting beside Blaine and leaning in a little bit. "What do you want?"

"I want you to fuck me," Blaine's proud of himself for not cracking through that sentence, for it coming out strong and self-assured.

"Blaine!"

He can't tell if Kurt's angry or shocked or annoyed, not from that, but then the other man starts to laugh, drawing his knees to his chest and chuckling into the sheets.

"Kurt, I'm serious!"

"I know," Kurt stops laughing abruptly and just…stares at Blaine. "I do. But I don't…_why_, Blaine? I've been trying to figure you out, and I…are you…"

"Later. Please?" Blaine knows he's pleading but this is exactly the conversation he's trying to put off. "Can we just…pretend that this is normal, and do this, and then…then I promise I'll answer any questions you have and explain everything, okay?" he reaches for Kurt's hand without meaning to, squeezing it and feeling more comforted when Kurt squeezes back.

"Okay. I'm not…entirely happy about this, but okay. You're sure that…" Kurt's blushing now, his cheeks flushed red, and Blaine has to hide his smile because it's really adorable. "Have you ever…"

"With my fingers, yeah," Blaine reaches over and digs a bottle of lube out of the nightstand. "So I could…prep myself, if you wanted, or you could…"

"You do it," Kurt says instantly. "I'm going to, um, splash some water on my face and just…I need a minute. I'll come back," he promises, resting his hand on Blaine's knee for a moment as if it was a promise of some sort before he scurries off the bed and tugs his underwear back on, rushing out of the room.

Blaine isn't going to worry about whether or not Kurt's going to come back, because he trusts that he will, and he uncaps the lube and sighs, trying to relax his body enough that he can do this.

He hasn't for a while but it's not entirely foreign to him, and yes, he's used…toys before, so Kurt shouldn't hurt him as long as he preps himself enough, and he forces his brain to shut down and focuses on fingering himself, breathing out slowly and letting his body relax as he waits for Kurt to come back.

He's three fingers in when Kurt sneaks back in, face red and eyes averted, but when he raises his gaze he squeaks and his mouth drops open. "You…um…"

And Blaine gulps and feels himself flush because wow, if he'd thought doing this alone was overwhelming doing it with Kurt watching, his eyes growing ever wider, was almost too much and he turns his head to the side and slips his fingers out of his body, wrinkling his nose before wiping them on the sheets. "I'm ready. If you are."

"O-okay," Kurt pads over carefully, kneeling on the bed and spreading some lube onto his own hand as he strokes himself, and even though the situation's more than a little weird for both of them Blaine's impressed by how quickly he gets himself aroused. "Do we…um…condom?"

"I don't…have any," Blaine swallows, because no, they are _doing this_, and he's not letting that stop him because he knows they're both clean. "Besides, we…"

"Not…I know it's safe, I just…you know. Messy. And do you really want to walk around with my…" he gestures and Blaine knows what he means, and he knows he'd freak Kurt out forever if he tells him that yes, he really wants Kurt to come inside of him with nothing but skin between them.

"It's okay. I'll manage," Blaine huffs a laugh. "How do…should I be on my knees so you don't have to…look at me?" he says it quietly, because he's sure that Kurt would rather not lose his virginity with him, but Kurt surprises him by shaking his head.

"No. I mean…yes, this is strange, but…we're not strangers, and it would just be awkward to pretend that we're…that this is anything but what it actually is. So…" he shrugs and Blaine gives him a quick, grateful smile before pulling a pillow under his hips. "Are you…you sure you're ready?" Kurt looks at him and bites his lower lip, seeming not to know if it's okay to stare or if he should be looking somewhere else.

"I'm fine, Kurt. I'll be…I'll be fine," Blaine promises, reaching for Kurt's hand and squeezing it softly. "Just…please. Fuck me."

"Okay," Kurt lets out a long, slow breath before he moves closer, lifting Blaine's legs up so they're wrapped around his body and leaning in. Blaine shivers when he feels the head of Kurt's cock press against his entrance and forces himself to relax. "I'm going to…I'm moving now," Kurt says quickly, pushing forward as Blaine groans and scrunches his eyes closed because, yeah, Kurt's _definitely_ not tiny and he's bigger than anything Blaine's had inside of him before.

His hands have wrapped around Kurt's neck before he realizes what he's doing, holding on so tightly as he tries to get used to the stretch. "Keep going," he gasps when Kurt stops for a moment, presumably to check if he's still okay. "It's…it's worse when you stop and start, so please, keep…"

"Okay," Kurt does, pressing forward inch by inch until he's fully inside, and Blaine whimpers at the shocking fullness and the strange feeling of something being _there_ when he's not used to it. "Does it hurt?" Kurt's brow is beaded with sweat, his arms shaking a little. "You're so tight, fuck, I feel like you have to be in pain…"

"I'm not," Blaine assures him, because it doesn't hurt nearly as much as he'd feared it would. "It's different, but I'm okay. I'm _okay_, Kurt," he promises, reaching to brush Kurt's hair back. "Can you, um…if you want to move, I'd be okay with that," he says and holds on tighter as Kurt pulls out a little before pressing in again. "_Fuck_," he gasps, throwing his head back and rocking his hips into it.

"Is that okay?" Kurt asks, sounding almost terrified, and Blaine moves to stroke his hair again, trying to keep him calm because he really hadn't thought Kurt would be freaking out more than he is right now.

"It's great," Blaine promises. "Really, Kurt, if you hurt me I'll tell you, but it just…feels really good," he sighs as Kurt thrusts in again, and each time the slight sting of pain and the initial strangeness fades until it really _does_ feel good. He tries to arch his hips up more and Kurt grabs his thighs and hoists Blaine's legs over his shoulders, bending him almost in half as he leans closer.

The next snap of his hips brushes against Blaine's prostate and he muffles his yell in Kurt's shoulder, fingers tightening on the other man's skin. "Kurt, please, keep…right there, faster, I need…" he knows he's babbling but everything is just so _much_ right now and it's overwhelming him in the best way possible.

Kurt nods against him and moves his hips faster, and all Blaine can do is hang on and keep breathing through it. "Blaine, I can't…I'm sorry, you're just…really tight and I'm close, I…"

"It's okay. You can…you can come," Blaine whispers, because he knew the first time wouldn't last that long, and Kurt shivers under his hands and he can _feel_ him orgasm which is some strange combination of really weird and really hot and really messy, and he whines into Kurt's neck as the other man finds enough strength to wrap a hand around his cock and jerk him off clumsily.

It only takes a few strokes before Blaine's coming, streaks of it hitting his stomach and Kurt's chest where they're pressed together, and Kurt nearly collapses on top of him as they both lay there panting. It's too hot now, too sticky and too stifling and a little painful and so, so _perfect_ that Blaine just wants to bask in it before the real world comes crashing back in and takes it all away from him forever.

Kurt shifts enough so that he slides out, the sound a little unpleasant and Blaine wrinkles his nose at the feeling and knows he'll need to shower before they do anything else but he can't move right now.

"Blaine…" Kurt whispers and Blaine shakes his head stubbornly, feeling his eyes tear up as he pulls Kurt onto his chest and holds him there. "Okay," Kurt sighs in resignation but he wraps his arms around Blaine and closes his eyes.

If this is all Blaine ever gets, if he can pretend that he and Kurt are real lovers for even five minutes, that's enough.

Because it's all he'll ever have.

**XVII.**

Kurt's sitting on his bed in a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt from his dad's garage when Blaine comes in from his shower, wearing a bathrobe and his hair unstyled. He sits down beside Kurt, not close enough to touch, and draws his knees up to his chest in a pose that's more defensive than anything and Kurt momentarily feels guilty that Blaine seems to think he _has_ to defend himself from Kurt.

Kurt, for his part, is not thinking too hard about the fact that he's just…well, gone all the way for the first time. It had been…strange, yes, but that was inevitable, but it had felt incredible and he was inwardly glad that Blaine trusted him enough for something so huge.

"So," he clears his throat when it becomes obvious Blaine's not going to speak first. "Are you…what? In the closet? You thought you were straight but fooling around with me has shown you otherwise?" he tries to break the tension and Blaine barks a short, bitter laugh.

"God, no. I'm gay. I…had a very, very short phase when I was fifteen or sixteen when I thought I might be bisexual, but that was taken care of by actually trying to date a girl and not feeling much of anything. My friends all know, but I just…" he pauses and Kurt immediately feels guilty for ever judging him because, well, Blaine's story is eerily similar to his own so far.

Except for the dating girls part. Even when he'd try to play straight for his dad's benefit, he'd always known.

"When I was in freshman year, my school had a Sadie Hawkins dance, and I went with a friend. He was gay, but we weren't dating, and neither of us were really out at the time. We were…waiting to get picked up after the dance when these guys showed up and…beat the crap out of us. Not because we were doing anything more than standing and not touching, but just because they thought we were together. I was in the hospital for a while," he finishes in a whisper, looking down at his hands, and Kurt feels a pang in his chest because he never could have imagined.

Yes, he'd had trouble, but never to the extent that he was badly injured enough that he needed medical attention. "Blaine, I…"

"It's okay," Blaine sniffs and looks up to meet Kurt's eyes. "Anyway, that's how I came out to my parents, and they…I think they accept that I'm gay, but that doesn't mean they really understand it or know how to react to me talking about guys, so it's…hard at home because there's nobody that really gets me and my brother's great about it, but he's so much older and he lives in LA so it's not like he was around much to help out," he shrugs, not seeming bitter about any of it, and Kurt has to admire that. "After that they thought it was too dangerous to stay at public school anymore so they got me enrolled at Dalton, and that's…that's it. As far as past boyfriends there's…not much to tell. I mean, there was one guy, but it never went farther than kissing because he was kind of a jerk," Blaine sighs and curls in on himself even more, not looking at Kurt any longer.

"So why did you hide here?" Kurt reaches to touch Blaine's knee, trying to let him know it was okay.

"Just…you know, Dalton had a no-bullying policy, and I knew that I wouldn't be nearly as sheltered out here in the real world and I just…didn't want any trouble, and I've been told I can pass for straight so I thought that it would just make it easier on me if I pretended that I really was," he laughs and looks down, biting his lip. "I guess, when it came to you, my acting was pretty terrible, huh?"

"Just a little," Kurt admits with a tiny chuckle as he pats Blaine's leg. "But I'm not angry with you, Blaine. It would be…a little hypocritical, seeing as how my story is…remarkably similar to yours," he takes a deep breath and sees Blaine's hazel eyes widen, his mouth falling open.

"You mean…you're really…but you seemed…"

"Maybe I'm a better actor, but honestly, I think the world knew I was gay before I made the connection for myself. My…I've been toning down my wardrobe and trying to speak a little lower since I've been here but in high school my style was…unique, to say the least, and people knew I liked boys before I ever came out to anybody. My dad was great about it, but the school…" he wrinkles his nose because it's not the most pleasant memory to relive, but Blaine's done his part and Kurt owes it to him to be truthful as well.

Blaine flips his hand on top of Kurt's and squeezes his fingers, and Kurt's grateful for the contact right now.

"Well, I was the only out kid at my school for a long time, and this one jock…made my life a living Hell. Shoving me around, calling me names, throwing slushies at me…" he ignores Blaine's appalled look at that but he'd gotten so used to having the frozen, sticky drink thrown in his face that he'd forgotten most high schools probably didn't have to put up with that. "About halfway through junior year I'd reached my breaking point and confronted him in the locker room and he…kissed me, and threatened to kill me if I told anybody," he swallows, the memory bringing back the fear and revulsion and utter defeat he'd felt in that moment, and Blaine rubs his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand. "I…the truth came out, eventually, just…that he was threatening me, and he's…he's not a bad guy, he was just afraid of his reputation, and at the end of the year he transferred out and that was that," he shrugs, because it's all in the past now.

"But that's not…I mean, that isn't the reason I'm hiding now…and this is going to be really embarrassing to admit, but…okay, I used to have the biggest crush on Finn. So big that I set our parents up and tried to get them to move in together right away, and our house at the time only had two bedrooms so Finn needed to share with me and I…came on too strong and freaked him out and he was already kind of shaken up by the fact that his life was changing so fast without him having any say, so he…blew up at me," Kurt bites his lip, because that memory's still a little raw too even though he knows he was mostly at fault for how he acted.

"So that's…at Thanksgiving…" Blaine's brow furrows and Kurt nods.

"That's why I had to shut Puck up, because he was going to bring up how back then I would have given anything to kiss Finn. I mean, we made up, and everything turned out okay, and now I just…see him as a brother, but having gone through that with one roommate I didn't want to take the chance whoever I got here was some homophobic asshole who'd be worried I was going to, I don't know, molest them in their sleep so hiding my sexuality seemed like the best way to go," he laces his fingers with Blaine's and smiles at him. "But I've never hidden it among my friends, and I'm not…I mean, obviously I don't have to hide it now."

"Obviously," Blaine's still rubbing Kurt's fingers with his own, almost unaware that he's doing so, and Kurt shifts closer because he just…needs to be near the other boy right now. "So what does that mean? We're both gay, we've both been lying about it, we both…I mean, I like you. A lot. I'm not even going to try and pretend that I don't anymore," he sighs.

"I like you, too. I never would have agreed to all of this if I didn't, Blaine," Kurt assures him, keeping his voice gentle as he speaks. "And I don't…this isn't exactly conventional, but seeing as how we both are attracted to each other and we've both…kind of…made it past the awkward stage of a relationship by literally jumping in head-first, do you think…" he stops, because asking Blaine to be his boyfriend now seems more than a little strange, but Blaine's smiling at him like he's just offered him the world and it makes something in his stomach flip pleasantly.

"Yes. I mean…if you're asking…yes," Blaine looks giddy, his entire body vibrating as he leans closer and cups his hand to Kurt's cheek. "Can I…can I kiss you?"

So Kurt lets his arms drape around Blaine's neck and smiles, and he knows that it's answer enough.

**XVIII.**

They decide not to tell anybody right away. This is still new to them, after all, and they're learning to navigate being with each other as boyfriends as opposed to close friends who fool around, and Blaine thinks it's infinitely better this way. There's a lot of exploration, now that they both feel allowed to, a lot of touching and kissing and getting used to the joy of being in love with your best friend.

Because he's not sure yet if Kurt's there, or if he's getting ahead of himself, but it feels like love and he's going to bask in it as long as he can.

000

"Do you want to come back to my place for Christmas?" Kurt asks him a couple of weeks later, the early December sunlight weakly streaming through the curtains as Blaine lifts his head off the other man's chest and squints at him. "I mean, I know Rachel or somebody's going to have a New Year's party and, well, I think it'll be a lot more fun now that we're…you know, admitting everything," he laughs and lets his hand rest on Blaine's back.

"I'd love to. Christmas at the Anderson Household is always stuffy and not very festive, so it'll be…nice to spend it somewhere that is," Blaine snuggles closer, because honestly they don't really need two bedrooms anymore, and he's half-asleep when he feels Kurt nudging something into his hand and looks at the bottle of lubricant Kurt's passed him.

"You know what else is nice?" Kurt raises an eyebrow and Blaine grins, because he knows _exactly _what Kurt's talking about.

000

The semester winds to a close, final projects and exams done for the time being, and it feels too quick that they're back on a plane to Ohio with Quinn and Rachel, the girls giving them suspicious glances as they sit too close on the plane, heads bent together and laughing at the most mundane things, but they'd agreed to wait a little longer to reveal everything.

Of course, it doesn't work around Finn, but that's mostly because it'll be impossible to hide while they're staying in the same house and his response is to clap Blaine on the back so hard he nearly falls over.

But Blaine figures that means he approves, and he's grateful for it. He thinks they almost give Burt a second heart attack when Kurt marches into the house and announces with no preamble that they don't need to fix up the guest room because Blaine will be staying with him.

To his credit, though, the older man simply sighs and tells Kurt that he and Carole have the courtesy to not let them know when they're doing things, so if Kurt and Blaine would do the same that would be nice of them.

Kurt looks ill at the mention of his father and Carole being intimate, but he quickly shakes it off and grabs Blaine's hand as they rush to his room like giddy teenagers.

Which, Blaine thinks as he all but falls on top of Kurt on the bed, they kind of still are.

000

Christmas is as wonderful as he's always thought it could be, full of laughter and joy and _love_, and when he completely slips up and whispers it in the afterglow a couple of days before New Year's all he gets in return is a hushed laugh and a low, "do you really think I don't feel the same?" that makes him jump on Kurt again and leaves them both completely exhausted the next day.

But then, since there's nothing to do but laze around and watch movies and drink hot chocolate anyway, maybe it doesn't really matter all that much.

000

Rachel's party is as raucous as ever, the television tuned loudly to the ball drop back in New York, and Kurt's arm is a steady weight around his hip as they hold their glasses of champagne Puck had managed to snag and wait for the countdown to begin.

When the clock reaches midnight exactly, they kiss, a little longer and more drawn-out than it should be but neither of them have ever _had _a New Year's kiss before and they don't break apart until a rather shrilly obnoxious wolf-whistle startles them out of it.

Everybody's staring at them, although nobody seems the least bit surprised, and Santana rolls her eyes and drunkenly exclaims, "fucking _finally!" _and that's about all it takes for them to go back to kissing like there's no tomorrow.

Except there will be. Plenty of them. And when Kurt pulls away to rest his head on Blaine's shoulder and whisper, "Happy New Year, Blaine," Blaine can only nod and hold him close and agree.

Because he has a feeling it's going to be the first of many happy new years to come.


End file.
